my thoughts...sane and insane

Yesterday and Today

2009-06-15T03:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday is always followed by today and tomorrow would become another today. Someone, who I take as a mentor said this to me in different ways and I predicted it in this sentence. Yesterday always has somethings to say and predict our today and what follows we don't know. However, your yesterday has a lot of importance in your lives because it is the yesterday that has the damn guts to make you, break you or change you. My yesterday also taught me a lot and not only did it slow poison me but also managed to ingrain the thought of changing myself.

No matter how much you feel your life is simple, it's going on and no matter what happens to you, you will still remain the same, others don't let you. There is no such thing that would allow you to be yourself and look at the world with your eyes. People around you just want you to see the world through your eyes, friends don't remain because they were never the friends you thought them to be. The world is heading towards nowhere because it's the people, who are actually heading nowhere.

I faced a situation yesterday and my trust on people is going for a toss. I was a happy-go-lucky girl, who now feels that this was her biggest mistake. I was headstrong that no matter what happens, I would never change myself.I would cherish any good moment and learn something new through the bad ones. But post this one incident that shattered a lot of things in me, has actually shattered my inner self. It has managed to finally make me think that I should change and just not bother about anyone around me. This is the world I am living in, a world that does not value friends, a world that does not value anyone; it's only your selfish motives. It was yesterday that I got the blow that has changed my today and will change any tomorrow that I wait to see.

Two of My FRIENDS

2009-03-06T20:50:00.000-08:00

These two guys are my friends. I would not like to mention their names in my post. I am talking about them because these two people have showed me one aspect of life. My journey in Delhi for the past 4 years has been a varied one. Where on one side I have managed to meet some really bad people, on the other I have come across these two guys. And trust me I feel obliged to know them because they have shown me a completely different face of life. These two guys, who actually know each other, do not know each other's story and I am the only common person, who knows their story. The reason for this is because I have been patient enough to know their stories. Most of my friends are settled out of Delhi and I know how much I crave to be with them in my bad days. Today I am taking this opportunity to talk about them because I want people to know that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
There is a lot of similarities among these two guys. They share a similar story in their personal lives and they are also the same kind when it comes to not sharing their problems with anyone.Their characters are so strong and that is because they have seen so much. This being a public portal I would not exactly want to say what they have seen. All I can say that they have not really been able to fulfill their dreams at the age when I was going to school and enjoying my life. They had to start off early, so that they could become the backbone of their respective families. And it is for sure that they have lived upto their dreams and aspirations. I have had many friends come and go out of my lives and I know how much I don't like them. Though I also have some amazing friends but these two guys definitely have something in them that makes me feel so proud of knowing them. No one would get to know their stories. But I have this aspiration in me that wants me to write a book and dedicate it to them. You must be wondering what their ages would be. One is 25 and one is 26. And they have been battling since ages now. They have taught that when we try to measure up our own problems and complain about it, there might be more people, who are facing more problems and their journey seems to be a never ending one. In fact, if we look around, there are so many people who are so silent and show that they are enjoying life but have so much depth in them. These two guys also have this quality. The depth in them, their patience level, the way they are, I cannot imagine being like them. If I face a problem, I tend to go into my shell. But now I know I would not do that. Their apsirations are high and I know they would get what they aspire for.
And when I say I feel obliged to know their stories is because they have influenced me. Strongly influenced me. They have left me speechless. Because the way they are when they are among people. The way they control their emotions, their problems. They never utter a single thing. They are real life heroes and they are the two of my FRIENDS. Guys if you two read it I would love to say this to you that I really love you guys for the way you are. You are two people I would always look up to. Love you.

Wohi Khuda Hai (HE IS THE BEING)

2009-03-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

"Wohi Khuda Hai" is one of those rarely heard songs by Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan Saab. I came across this song yesterday. The reason why I came across this song is because I was trying to go forward with my research on Sufism. Now some of my Literate Friends would again pass some wierd comments on the topic of my research. They would again tag me as mad, as someone, who is losing it. Well, if that's how it is, then I am happy being MAD in this world. While conducting my research on Sufism and it's various facts, I started discussing Islam with one of my Moslem friends. Though she herself does not believe in religion but the way she explained certain facts about HER religion to me, I was left speechless. The world is going through a lot in the name of the Being and Jehad. I don't have anything against any religion but being a part of this world, I have all the rights to know about all religions and to raise my voice in whichever way possible. This is one way to do that is what I feel.
I have always heard people say that the Quoran says that Islam is the best religion and that all people should be killed in the name of this religion. Well, this is absolute nonsense. Each religion, be it Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, they all propagate their religion but no religion says that kill people of the other religion. It seems that the LITERATE lot has somehow misunderstood and misinterpreted what all religions have to say. And especially when it comes to Islam, the scene is bad. Well, the reason can also be the fact that most terrosists follow Islam and their understanding of JEHAD is completely opposite to what it actually is. WHile trying to understand certain things, I came across the concept of JEHAD. SO, now let me help you guys understand teh exact concept. Jehad means to REACT against a wrong ACT. Jehad says that if you witness something wrong, you should not be passive to it. You should raise your voice or take any action to convey what is RIGHT. This is Jehad and it is not about killing people in the name of the Being. If you also see examples from one of the most celebrated Hindu Epics, Mahabharata, there also the Pandavas fought and killed their own cousins and Gurus, who were worng. The Pandavas REACTED against what is wrong. But never would we see anyone saying anything against this major episode known as the KURUKSHETRA.
The one thing that astonishes me today is that how much ignorant we have become about things.We are standing nowhere and unfortunately we do not want to go anywhere. It seems that we are happy being at the midst of nowhere.We are witnessing some of the msot cruel terrosist attacks, even in the galli nukkads people are fighting in the name of the Being. The Literate lot refuses to see or do anything. Well, I know we are all concerned about our own safety. But how safe are we? We cannot predict when a terrosist attack will happen and when we would die. I know that we really can't do much. We can't go to our neighbouring country and ask the terrosists to stop what they are doing. But being a part of a democratic nation, we can atleast change the way we look at different religions and understand the fact that we belong to one nation. We are ONE. We might belong to different religions and different cultures but it is the flesh, blood and the soul that makes all of us. The Being for whom we are all fighting like cats and dogs, is the One who created all of us. It is Him we all pray to. Hence, in his name, let's educate oursleves about other religions. "NEITHER YOU NOR I SOLVED THE SECRET OF THE BEING, NEITHER YOU NOR I OPENED THE PUZZLE, THE IMAGE OF YOU AND I ARE HIDDEN BEHIND THE CURTAIN, WHEN THE CURTAIN FALLS, NEITHER YOU NOR I WILL REMAIN"

Art is indeed the food for the soul

2009-03-04T03:17:00.001-08:00

I am back after a long time. This time, I decided not to write about social causes, I want to write about something else. Let this be music. Music has been the food for the soul and that is so true. If I talk about myself, I cannot imagine myself without music. In fact, let me do something. Let me talk about some art forms that we humans create for other humans to enjoy. This includes music, dance, theatre, films, paintings, novels (I just forgot about them). All these art forms that are created by someone has so much importance in our lives. They reflect our emotions, they relect us and they uplift our spirits. They not only entertain us but also say something to us. However, somehow, most of us do not let these art pieces get into soul. In fact, we don't even let them peep into our heart. There is so much that the world of art has to offer to us. For me they are definitely the food for my soul. Today itself, I was researching about Sufism, I am fascinated by it. It touched my soul and I am on my journey to know more about it. Wish me luck, as I really want to find out everything possible about it. I wish we belonged to this perfect world where there is peace, love and lots of art forms. I wish everyday I could dance in the rain, sing my heart out, watch theatrics every evening over a cup of coffee with friends. That would be a perfect life. I would definitely continue working, that will give me the money....but wait...I was talking about the perfect world........then why do I need to work :)

The Year That TAUGHT

2008-12-28T22:02:00.000-08:00

With 2008 coming to an end, most of us seem to be breathing a sigh of relief. Most of us have been complaining of this year, which is about to fly by in another 2 days and will bring to us a new morning, the same sun but with a new ray of hope to it. However, paradoxically, though we and this year witnessed some of the worst things, those bad memories will erase out within the next two days and will leave us with some new experiences and new days. So now that we are almost about to cross the finish line of this year's not so happening race, why not look back at some things that happened.

Most of my friends, acquaintances and people I know say that 2008 was a particularly bad year. Not only did the global village face some of the biggest crises, even our personal lives went through alot. I won't lie, I too saw some random events happening in my personal life that left me shattered for a while. Well, again to be honest, I too am pretty happy that this year is coming to an end. Coming to the point when many things happened, not only did the financial crunch strike, which left many devastated and dejected faces; the crime scene too went to all extents. I feel that this year there were too many murders, rapes and all the crimes; with terrosist attacks topping the charts. In fact, if noticed, our enviorment also seems not to be with us. Natural calamities causing unnatural deaths also happened. However, the good news seems that the coming year might not be that bad. How do I know that? Well, like any other person, I browsed through some sites that have already started giving out predictions for the next year. In fact, one of the sites said that the coming year might act as the healer for the mishaps that occured this year. Now that is something I am not sure about. But given to the observations and analysis that I did based on whatever happened in my life and things that I saw, I am sure I can act as a balm for my wounds and heal them now. So why not share it with you guys. (Again, I don't know how many of you would read my post and even if you read, I don't know whether you would like to think the way I thought)

Anyways, now coming to the questions I shot to myself include:

My Character (Character, as in the strength in my charcter and not the other way that we understand character)
My Social Responsibility
And the most important one, my responsibilty towards myself

Well, apart from these ones, I really can't think of any other questions right now. If any of you want to add some more questions, please go ahead and help me and the others, who read my post. When a year ends, it takes away everything it gave us in that year. But one thing unique about this year is that even though it will fade away with a new morning on the 1st of January 2009, it cannot wash away the experiences that we all witnessed. Because each experience is God's way or rather Life's way of teaching us who we are and what we are made of. So, now that we all have learnt something or the other and I can bet that we all actually have learnt something, why not put out learnings into practice, afterall what's learning without practicing it and practice makes a man perfect. This will help us to build our charcters and at the same time, will help us build a secured and better tomorrow. Afterall, it is all about we (WE)

Life's Calling

2008-12-05T02:41:00.000-08:00

Remember the tagline of Bacardi "Life's Calling"....I guess yes. How true it is. I always like the advertisement because it is absolutely amazing but realizing the meaning is more blissful. Life is such a beauty, it has so much to offer. Cribbing over small things has always been a human tendency and it very much will exist in all of us. But realizing the worth of life and the various opportunities that it has to offer us makes life and existence all the more simple. There is so much happening in the world, in our personal lives that we generally land up seeing the dark side of everything. But barely do we see the silver lining. Learning to see the silver lining will help us. How, well that is something we would need to realize it ourself.

Let me just share my thoughts on how I see the silver lining about all the various problems that's going on in the world first and then I'll discuss about my personal life. Let's talk about the global economic slowdown. Major industries have been hit by it and people have limited scope now. But if you see the silver lining, people have more to think and more fields to explore. They can actually finally break the trends and create new trends by studying subjects that many tread to take up, by taking up jobs that were never explored. This will actually lead to various discoveries. What say, have you thought about it yet?

Next, the Mumbai blasts. We have always been abusing terrorists and saying that what are they getting by doing all this. The only way of protesting that we know is by burning the wax. Will that help? No it will not because we need to help ourself. How? Well, we actually need to get emphathetic about the one's who are executing these tasks. There has to be a reason for it and as far as my understanding goes, it is definitely their poverty that makes them vulnerable to all these things. A man who cannot afford two time's meals for his family, will definitely not be educated and will be misguided. How can we help? We are the educated lot that earns a salary, survives in this world and also manages to indulge in luxuries. Why not get a bit selfless, not a lot to ask I guess. Let us see the silver lining and take up our responsibilities and avoid creating any more terrorists. Let us just help each other and see a better world. God that seems like a gyan huh?

Now in my personal life, I went through a major crisis, a crisis that I was not ready to face. But this crisis helped me be friends with complete strangers and I realized that life always gives us a second chance and that Life is surely calling us to take care of ourself and also of the one's around us. Moreover, it also is calling us to enjoy our lives and to "drink life to the brim". Now that the new year is around, cheers to all and enjoy life and always see the silver lining no matter what happens in your lives and in the world. Happy New Year to all. I know it's too early :-)

THE TWINKLING STAR

2008-09-16T22:14:00.000-07:00

In the starless night
I look up and pray
Lord, let there be happiness
Let there be peace

The world needs you Lord
Each cry needs you
The homeless, the foodless
They all need you

The starless night
Says nothing; only stares
The dark night
Only mourns of the pain

The world is being shattered
Humans are being crashed
Hopes are being crushed
lives are being squashed

With some hopes
I look up into the starless night
When a twinkle in the sky
Sparkles; Prayers will not be unanswered

I hear a whisper
"Lord is in all humans
Humans won't be crashed
Hpoes won't be crushed
The world won't be shattered
Lives won't be squashed"

In the starless night
The twinkle whispered
"Lord is in all humans
Take the world in your hands
And protect it with each breath you take"

61st Birthday to our FREEDOM

2008-08-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

15 th August is just 2 days away and right now what people must be thinking is "how to spend the holiday". The Indian Independence Day has merely become a matter of another holiday, the day when people can sleep till late hours and then enjoy with their kith and kin. However, honestly speaking, I really do not blame them. That one day, all broadcast and print media will make sure that they sing the songs of praise for our freedom fighters, they show movies that they feel can motivate the Indians. But does FREEDOM really mean that? Should we just celebrate the freedom of our nation only that one day when it achieved it? Is the true essence of freedom so short lived that the very next day we forget that we are the free citizens of a free democratic country? Well, if discussed, this debate can go on and on and on but however, the end result might just turn out to be as hollow as we the citizens of free India today are.

The true essence or the flavor of freedom is to be able to take your country to that position where our freedom fighters had dreamt of when they were selflessly fighting at the war front. Freedom fighters are not only those people, who led the battle but also those ones, who had the conviction in their leaders and fought the battle with a smile on their face and with the hope that one day they would see their flag hoisted high. However, today freedom has taken some just other meaning. Today, freedom means the power of self indulgence, the power to hold your head up even after committing gruesome crimes, killing people in the name of religion and God and being selfish.

I would be turning 25 years exactly 3 days after our Independence Day and in these 25 years of my life I have seen only degradation. When in school, I used to be thrilled about Independence Day because I got the scope to recite some of the great poems about freedom and hold a flag in my hand and to sing our national anthem. Today, I can bet that the same things are repeated in all schools and offices and colleges declare this day as a holiday. For the past 3 years I have been living in the capital city of the country and still never had the chance to visit RED FORT on the Independence Day because my parents, who live in Calcutta are scared that terrorists for sure will be in action. Isn't this a real shame. It is my country, my country's freedom day and I am scared of stepping out of the house because of some people, who according to them, are fighting their freedom battle? Have they really understood the meaning of freedom? Am I really free? Have I understood the real flavor of freedom? What do I do when I see kids, who probably can't even speak clearly begging on the roads? I give them a 2 rupee coin and is that my only responsibility towards the country?

I really don't want to blame our leaders or the media people, who try to lead and inform us because it is we, who have given them the power to do whatever they want to. It is we, who have given them the thought that this is their country and not ours'. It is we, who have not understood the real meaning of freedom. It is we, who need to understand the true meaning of this day and it is we, who need to celebrate 15th AUGUST everyday because we have got the freedom but we need to earn FREEDOM. I know that most of you, who will read this post might feel that it is easy to say than to do but if we all are ready to take up our responsibilities as individuals, then we will have 2 billion people serving this nation that it yet to see the true essence of freedom. I definitely will.

Khuda Ke Liye (In The Name of God)

2008-04-07T02:01:00.000-07:00

An incredibly beautiful movie, any word or any form of speech is just not enough to describe or even talk about this movie. Almost after 42 years, a Pakistani movie debuted the Indian multiplexes, the debut was indeed an incredible one. On the second day of the release, I went to see the movie and that too all alone. My friends did not want to take the risk of an "intellectual" movie. Like a free spirit, I went to see KHUDA KE LIYE and the 2hours 45 minutes was definitely one of the most memorable moments of my life. One of the most beautiful movies that I had seen in this two and a half decades of my life. After three months I went to watch a film and I felt that the wait was worth it.

Beautiful is the one word that I have been using to describe each and every aspect of this movie, ever since I saw it. A beautiful script, beautiful direction, beautiful acting skills, beautiful people and the most important thing, a beautiful message. Although the movie is all about Islam, Jehad and the condition of the Muslims post 9/11, it definitely has a universal appeal and a universal message. The message has been beautifully passed. The movie released in Pakistan in July 2007 and it debuted in India last Friday. The narrative is extremely strong and it actually has the capacity to grip all it's viewers and why not, no one would want to miss a single scene of such a powerful and beautiful movie. Right from the beginning of the movie, it had that something to make you look deep into it.

The movie travels through the United Kingdom, Pakistan, Afghanistan and the United States of America. And the travel was definitely a journey of all the characters in the movie. Their growth, their confusion over things, their love for things and their survival, their battle, Khuda Ke Liye portrays it all. Whether it is Mary or Mansoor or Janie or even Sarmad, each one of them reside in each one of us. Powerful acting is what definitely needs a standing applaud. It just did not seem that they were enacting their respective characters. I could feel the pain that Mansoor was going through when he was being tortured in the prison, or even when Mary had to sleep with her husband, whom she hated the most in her life. Even Hameed Sheikh was so impressive. His provocative speeches in the name of God had all the tone that one needs to provoke people to do all the wrong things in the name of God. Even Naseer Ud Din Shah, who has a cameo in the movie for about ten minutes showed the power of his craftsmanship. An out and out powerful movie, the actors have made a huge contribution in making what this movie is. Hats off to the director the movie Janab Shoib Mansoor, who had the courage to speak out the truth, to make such a beautiful movie and this is his directorial debut and nothing could have been better than this. Such a marvelous debut had not been seen for a very long time. He definitely deserves a standing ovation.

Khuda Ke Liye is engrossing, passes a beautiful message, is a an eye opener and speaks the universal language of survival. I would not want to talk about the story line of the movie because each one of you who reads my blog, it is my request please watch the movie and spread the word. It is a lifetime's experience and one should not miss it. Now one of the other things that stole my heart and made me fall in love with it again is the music of the movie. Incredible music, simply superb and engrossing. Each of the songs have something to say, something to mean. However, my favorite track of the movie is Bandya Ho. Reason, the way the song has been shot. Absolutely beautiful. In fact, after watching the movie, I once again feel like learning the instruments, they say so much, they can unite people, thoughts and even souls. I really do not know how many of you would like my blog because that is not my motive behind writing this blog. All I want to share with you people through my blog is that please go and watch this movie that is par excellence and feel the goose bums that you get while watching it. Enjoy the music of the movie that lets your spirit free and yes, in the end if your tear rolls down for Mansoor, don't stop it KHUDA KE LIYE

moving ahead in life

2008-03-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

"Change is the only constant thing". Change, it's inevitable and no matter how much we hate changes, changes don't seem to leave us alone. Change, time changes, trend changes, everything changes and we too change. Journeying through the various paths of life is so full of events and changes. When I look back at life today, the only thing that comes to my mind is how many changes I have had to go through. And its not only me, it is with everybody and we manage to accept most of the changes, no matter how good or bad they are. But there are some changes that leave behind so many memories and it actually becomes so difficult to forget those days when the change had not taken place. There are so many people we know at one point of time and probably in the next moment, the people are all gone. There is nothing left, we don't even know whether we would get another chance of meeting those people. My friends say that each person, who comes into our lives, comes for some purpose and when the purpose is solved, they leave us. Is this the reason why that we make friends, we gel with them, we feel that yes they are the people, who constitute our world?

Why is change such a necessity and why do we have to move ahead in life by leaving all the people and the old circumstances behind us? I can bet that it is not easy to do that but since we are not left with any other option, we consciously accept it but somewhere, like today, it is coming out of me, it comes out of each one of us. Even we are happy but there are some aspects and some people, who we wish were still with us to have let us be with them. Well, I wish that life would not have meant to move ahead without the people we really want to be with, rather being with them would have made the journey even better. Life is about saying in your mind to someone "I MISS YOU, WISH YOU WERE WITH ME".

We, only we can make the difference

2008-03-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

Well, this will be a small post. In the last post I spoke about the attitude of men towards women and since then, I felt like showing that post to my boss. Showing him the post came into my mind because I thought that it is high time that someone should actually start making a difference. Well, I don't know how successful it would be but at least I know that I have been vocal about my thoughts and that some men just cannot stop me from being the way I am. I did show him the post and even asked him to put up the print out on the soft board, so that everyone can read it. His first reaction to this was whether everyone will be able to comprehend it or not. I simply highlighted the portion where I had mentioned about the office nuisance. He agreed to me, however, also mentioned that people should not know that I have written it. My reaction to it was that I actually do not mind writing my name on that paper because people should know what I feel and what I think about them. Moreover, he also promised that he would send a mail to each one saying that complaints against male employees of the firm have come up regarding their behavior and therefore, if they are not careful in the future, severe actions would be taken. I am definitely feeling happy about the whole thing and the best part was when I sited an example of slapping a bus conductor in Delhi because he was drunk and was misbehaving. The only reaction he gave was do not do this, to which I said that now since I have actually told him about my initial indirect reaction to that jerk in the office, now I would actually not mind letting him directly know my thoughts and letting him know that he is jerk and the only things that makes him a man are his balls.

This was not a big thing that I did but yes small things can give us the courage and these small reactions can actually let these men know that it is high time and we are here to make the difference in our lives and for this we do not need to take the help of any man. We, only we can make the difference.

"woh tan se takatwaar hai, aur hum man se"

2008-03-19T01:50:00.000-07:00

For quite sometime my friend and me have been discussing about these issues that are constantly haunting a woman. The bad looks on a man's eyes, the way they react when they see the species from Venus and definitely, the increasing number of molestations and rape cases and not to forget, the eve teasing cases. In one of the blogging sites, we across these topics and I felt quite amused to read some of the posts where it was clearly stated that we women ask for it and therefore, get it back. Now my title for this post is taken from a serial that comes on NDTV Imagine. I watched the serial yesterday and one of the female characters in the serial was molested by some galli ka chokras because she did not want them to put colors on her on the occasion of holi. After the incident, one of the elderly ladies of her family said the line. Though the statement is a common one, but still it actually left a lot of impact on me, probably because I have been thinking about these things for quite sometime now. Now let me translate the statement, it means that physically men are no doubt stronger but from the mind it is the female gender that takes the award or the winning prize.

Well, definitely we all know that women have always been subjected to n number of things, be it letching by men, eve teasing or anything. It is not only on the streets that we women actually feel as if we are being stripped naked by some odd men. Even the corporate world also does not seem to be untouched by these highly shameless activities. My work place too has people, more precisely, men, who would not even think twice before passing that dirty look. Well, it is not that I wear revealing clothes, I do know about workplace decorum and therefore, know how to follow it also. And it is not only with me but my entire team that comprises only of female employees. For quite sometime, I managed to be a mute spectator but then my conscious always cursed me for being that. Finally one day I decided to quit my mute attitude and get back to life. I decided not to directly tell the person what he is doing, instead by being quite loud, I indirectly told him that his weird way of looking at us is not accepted by us. This did have an impact, now the jerk does think twice because he knows that here is one woman who knows how to distinguish between whats wrong and whats right. However, this is again circumstantial because most of the times, we ignore such ridiculous behavior due to some or the other fear. Fear is definitely an important factor, in fact, we are scared of most of the things in our lives.

However, why is it that most of the times it is we women, who prefer not seeing the truth, prefer being silent? We are at no means lower than men, then why we and why not them. B e it your boss, your boyfriend, your husband or even your father, why not just put across your point of view to them. No body has given them the right to crash our hopes, cut down our wings, no they do not have the right. Sad enough but the truth is that we have given them the right. Now it is high time that we take back what we have given them and show them that yes we are here to live our lives on our own terms and anyone, who tries to invade the space would get it back, be it in a subtle or a harsh manner, they will get it back and that also from us, the descendants from Venus. Its pay back time.

Trying to compensate the clumsy saturday

2008-01-15T03:37:00.000-08:00

I just thought of letting everyone know that even though I was half dead working on Saturday (remember my blog "Clumsy Saturday"), I didn't know that my Sunday and Monday would do wonders to my life. Well, Sunday was the usual meeting friends and going for outings to the same old malls in Noida, trying to do something adventurous, Monday was amazing fun man.

Monday morning I manage to get up at 8 a.m. to open the doors to let my maid in. She works and goes away and then begins my day. With the cosy quilts to make me feel warm, I was rolling on my bed in a deep sleep and yes, I do drool when I sleep. Sandeep says that I drool because I talk in my sleep too, I have no doubts on that, I am quite capable of doing that too. I love this modesty in me. Somewhere at 10 I felt like getting up and taking a shower but then the one thought that came to mind was who gets to know whether I have taken a shower or not(dirty I am I know ). Given to my laziness, I thought of lying back, not having lunch and not talking to anyone over the phone. This is one day that I always wanted to live, even if for a day and I am sure God listened to me. Finally I managed to pull myself out of that bed to have a cup of coffee at 6 p.m. That's evening. I had the coffee without brushing my teeth. Well, managed to take a shower too and indulge in tarot reading. Well, at 9 p.m. I again found myself on my bed to fall asleep, well, only after talking to Sandeep. Did that too and had a sleep once again.

Today, that is the 15 th of January, Tuesday, I got out of bed to realize that I need to go to office. Well, I wont crib because I got the day of my life, a day that everyone wishes to get, even if for once. A day that makes us feel lazy even to brush our teeth. However, how do these matter when you simply want to indulge yourself in a nice sleep, remember "Lyadh Khawa". I wish this day again comes in my life soon :-)

A CLUMSY SATURDAY

2008-01-11T21:08:00.000-08:00

Its a Saturday and I sill can't believe that I am sitting in my office. Saturdays were never working for us but good things only stay for few moments. Alternate Saturdays have become working now and I am still in a dilemma that why do we work on Saturdays. My super boss thought of calling off his decision of keeping Saturdays working and sad enough...I have not yet come across his decision. The force of my office seems to be just 30% and greatly, my entire team is sincere enough to be in office today. Gone are those Saturdays when I managed to open my eyes at somewhere around 11 in the morning, just to have a cup of tea or coffee and again go to sleep. I call this "lyadh khawa" in bengali and I simply loved it.

Sitting at my desk, trying to work on my laptop today simply makes me feel like a bog of nonsense who has nothing to do in life but to work, work and work. Well, I can bet on the fact that this is something that each people in my office today is feeling. Ranjini, my best buddy in office has not yet started her work. She works and I get the impetus to work.Therefore, it is understandable that both of us would do nothing today. I am simply feeling like calling my super boss and telling him that we don't want to waste your resources....let us go back home and sleep. Man I am hungry for a nice sleep. Probably a movie in the afternoon with Sandeep could have been really good. But man proposes, God disposes. I had really prayed that Saturdays do not remain working. GOD ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME????
P.S: I wrote the post today on 12 th January, which is a Saturday. I don't know why its showing it Friday 11 th January

The Saga of In the Name of Honor and Chowringhee

2007-09-04T21:14:00.000-07:00

Life, as we all know, is full of ups, downs, success and failures and we humans make sure that we lament over our periodical failures over certain things and curse the creator for having created such horrendous miseries for us. I too, until some time ago, was no exception. With a recurring reminder of my true survival in this world, life has made me traverse through different spheres. Mostly it had been kind enough to shower its blessings over me, but at the same time, like the very strict schoolteacher punished me to realize my mistakes, and made me look like a failure in front of the world. Nagging over petty miseries, today I manage to earn a fairly handsome salary, indulge in luxuries by my own but I still find reasons to say that life has not been kind to me.

During my everyday lamenting session about something or the other, I came across two powerful novels. These novels, I had heard about but it was the last Saturday when I bought them not knowing that they have the power to influence me and to make me realize that life is about surviving and resisting the desolation and about learning to be happy at our own conditions. “In the Name of Honor” by Mukhtaran Mai and “Chowringhee” by Sankar. Both these novels have something in common. They unanimously speak out the stories of real life characters, who at one point of their lives were just like us but it was their power to fight over their miseries, their decision to not to make a farce of the miseries, is what made them heroes to many and inspirations to people like me. Both these novels are tremendously powerful, mark my words “powerful”. They have an appeal of their own when they describe the torment that human lives, in some corner of this fertile earth, had gone through. While reading “Chowringhee”, which is originally a Bengali book and got translated into many languages, the only thing that I promised myself was to learn not to nag, not to grieve over my petty miseries, which now I realize are anything but miseries. Both these masterpieces can only influence people. However, one might say that why should I read about the miseries of others when my life is full of miseries. They will break me. No, my words to all those would be that try to read them once and see the power that these pages have in them. You will lose nothing; you will not break but will learn to live life. Life is undoubtedly, about achieving, it is about achieving to make ourselves smile at our miseries and keep our heads high to tell the world that no one is a born loser and it is in our hands to change our fates and to make the impossible, possible.

All you people reading my blog (I do not really know how many will read), must have had bitter experiences in your lives and some bitter experiences are probably waiting for your intervention. However, trust my words, just hold any of these two books or if you are generous to yourself, both the books that talk about real people, you will be able to feel the strength in you to fight your grievances. You will learn to wash away your grief and your misfortune, with the tears that you will have while reading the books and come out to be a stronger person. Today when I am penning this blog, I never knew that I could speak of strength. Well people who know me well, know that I am aggressive, however, these two books taught me that along with aggression I do need to face the miseries with a smile on my face and learn to realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2007-08-19T22:37:00.000-07:00

Standing a year short of almost spending two and a half decades on this ever-changing earth, I realized where I stand today. Two days back when I was celebrating, apparently with just one friend, birthday just did not seem to be the same. Apparently this time I was somewhat not really too eager about my birthday. Well I still do not know why I was’nt but somehow it seemed that another birthday adds on responsibilities, more composedness and what not.

Ironically enough, the same day, that is my birthday, I landed up at Dilli Haat, where this thing for the new leader for India was going on. Trust me this added on to my quest of finding the real reason of my survival. This entire thing seemed to be so fake. When inside the place people where trying promote about this entire leadership thing and trying to evoke patriotism among people, a poor, street side kid was being badly behaved with by the guard because he had managed to close the entrance gate while playing. The kid tried hard to run away and while doing that he fell and hurt himself, but did not complain. I too witnessed that and walked away. It did leave an imprint on my mind, the imprint says that today also, we need to evoke patriotism; we need to make people realize that we are lagging behind.

I guess a leader is not made to born he just takes his own birth. We all are low profiled human beings, but somewhere or the other we have a leader, a hero hidden in us. At least I realized it, this small but eye-opening incident made me realize that I should also fight for my rights and fight the odd, the wrong. Patriotism is not all about shouting out your country’s name, it is about realizing that you stay in a country that can do a lot, in fact, you can also contribute in her prosperity. Gifts are not just material, they can be anything, only you will have to realize that it is a gift. So, happy birthday to me.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

2007-08-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day........but paradoxically even on the 60th year of India's Independence barely do we realize the real meaning of independence.....15th August 1947 India acheived her independence...but anyhow today also we are as dependent on small things as we were dependent on an entire nation sixty years ago. Back in my room when I was struggling to find out for a way to pass my time on this independence day, I felt like a prisoner tied up i my room. Thats when I realized how much my life is dependent on my friends, on my offic work and on the trivial things that I do on a regular basis to spend the 24 hours of my each day.

Sad enough, however, this one particular day of this year tuaght me that we are an independent nation and I am an independent individual....and I am the one who has to independently lead and live my life...so why be dependent on my friends, my work and the small, trivial gossips to pass my time....so HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY to ME..............

finally it's friday?

2007-07-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

finally it's friday and i just can't wait to get back home....rather my room..that's only mine....sad enough saturdays and sundays just fly away and trust me i can't wait to enjoy these two days...but where is the enjoyment left now...life seems to be so monotonous....same old office....same work.....same getting back home....and then the same boring life....life is just not happening..rather life seems to be so lonely...with so much loneliness to fight with i somehow feel it's better to come to office and work and chat with your friends and enjoy life...saturday and sundays seem to be so long and so boring with nothing to do but to crib about the loneliness.........so i miss home and miss being with my friends and family...oh those were the days...but i guess we need to grow and i guess everyone faces this stage in life...so finally it's friday......

old memories

2007-06-29T03:01:00.000-07:00

old memories just cant be earased...it' s so strange that at times you just tend to forget so many people you once knew.......you just dont realize but i don't know wat to call this.....tat at time's you might just bang into them and dont know how to react. a month back i went to a shop n i did'nt know why i went there....when all of a sudden i just came across this friend of mine after 7 yrs.......this was the heights...when i met her i knew the reason why i landed up in the shop....this was strange but felt so nice...that nice warm hug of two friends who met after so long...oh it felt so nice....life's large but the world is a small place to be in...you just don't know wats waiting for you