For quite sometime my friend and me have been discussing about these issues that are constantly haunting a woman. The bad looks on a man's eyes, the way they react when they see the species from Venus and definitely, the increasing number of molestations and rape cases and not to forget, the eve teasing cases. In one of the blogging sites, we across these topics and I felt quite amused to read some of the posts where it was clearly stated that we women ask for it and therefore, get it back. Now my title for this post is taken from a serial that comes on NDTV Imagine. I watched the serial yesterday and one of the female characters in the serial was molested by some galli ka chokras because she did not want them to put colors on her on the occasion of holi. After the incident, one of the elderly ladies of her family said the line. Though the statement is a common one, but still it actually left a lot of impact on me, probably because I have been thinking about these things for quite sometime now. Now let me translate the statement, it means that physically men are no doubt stronger but from the mind it is the female gender that takes the award or the winning prize.
Well, definitely we all know that women have always been subjected to n number of things, be it letching by men, eve teasing or anything. It is not only on the streets that we women actually feel as if we are being stripped naked by some odd men. Even the corporate world also does not seem to be untouched by these highly shameless activities. My work place too has people, more precisely, men, who would not even think twice before passing that dirty look. Well, it is not that I wear revealing clothes, I do know about workplace decorum and therefore, know how to follow it also. And it is not only with me but my entire team that comprises only of female employees. For quite sometime, I managed to be a mute spectator but then my conscious always cursed me for being that. Finally one day I decided to quit my mute attitude and get back to life. I decided not to directly tell the person what he is doing, instead by being quite loud, I indirectly told him that his weird way of looking at us is not accepted by us. This did have an impact, now the jerk does think twice because he knows that here is one woman who knows how to distinguish between whats wrong and whats right. However, this is again circumstantial because most of the times, we ignore such ridiculous behavior due to some or the other fear. Fear is definitely an important factor, in fact, we are scared of most of the things in our lives.
However, why is it that most of the times it is we women, who prefer not seeing the truth, prefer being silent? We are at no means lower than men, then why we and why not them. B e it your boss, your boyfriend, your husband or even your father, why not just put across your point of view to them. No body has given them the right to crash our hopes, cut down our wings, no they do not have the right. Sad enough but the truth is that we have given them the right. Now it is high time that we take back what we have given them and show them that yes we are here to live our lives on our own terms and anyone, who tries to invade the space would get it back, be it in a subtle or a harsh manner, they will get it back and that also from us, the descendants from Venus. Its pay back time.
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3 comments:
very, very well written but sadly only a woman will be able to relate to this. After all, how do you explain it to a man that 'a look' can be a violation of a woman's privacy? We have come a long way and women have made their presence felt in every field but some things don't change! it may seem like a logical reaction to protest but then at the end of the day we all fear for our safety which is again only a human reaction. Wish there was a way out of this dirtiness that we find all around us.But hats off to you for being so vocal about it. Three cheers for the Venusians!
A man giving you the dirty look....well what do I say about this! Ask any woman and she will have numerous instances of this happening to her. The look they give u is as if you have suddenly grown some extra body part....or perhaps they are seeing the species from venus for the very first time in their life!!!
Of course I know none of this was the case when once a guy gave me the dirtiest look I've ever seen in my life. I was sitting in an auto caught up in a traffic jam and that guy was on a bike......I did not know how to react! Just felt sooo violated and wanted to have a bath scrubbing myself to death at that moment........UGH!!!
The saddest part is that we can't even protest against this..thinking of our safety and security. How on earth can someone say we ASKED FOR it.......no woman on earth asks for something as dirty and as violating as this!!!
The new year eve incident in Mumbai shows that a public place amongst lots of people is not at all a safe place...once considered to be the safest!! So what are we supposed to do??? Lock ourselves up and fling the keys as far away as possible???
Or perhaps we can all protest against this in our small way (like may b writing about it as you've done) and make some sort of difference in our own unique ways!!!
true arpita...very true.. thankfully i haven't had to face any such thing in the office but out there all men(and yes age no bar) think have a right to letch at women..i can't stand the attitude that these men hav and invariably end up abusing them out loud..all those brought up in the city of Kolkata will admit to it being a nice place with warm people but the sad part is for quite a while now he image of the cty has taken drastic turn....
Check out a site called blank noise....its about protesting aganst molestatin and eve teasing..
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